Before having kids I would not hesitate to say, "I will never do that when I have kids" about one hundred million different things.
Of course I thought my kids would be the most perfectly behaved children. I would 'train' them to behave beautifully at all times. I thought that if your child could walk then you shouldn't be breast feeding them, that if you didn't immunise your child you were a naughty parent.
I had strong opinions about;
dummies (a big no-no)
diet (no sugar/lollies/definitely no takeaways)
sleeping (co-sleeping: no way)
extended breastfeeding (ew yuck)
going back to work (everyone does it don't they?)
everything basically.
Boy oh boy, how motherhood has changed me.
(Bit serious? But I love the way Sylvie is snuggling in).
Motherhood also snuck up on me as a 25 year old girl. So the hypothetical mother that I always thought I would become was actually far closer to becoming a reality than I ever imagined.
These days, I am growing as a mama and a woman. I still have opinions. Some of them are much different to before. Most of them the complete opposite to what they were before. My opinions are fluid, they are personal, and they are mine. They work for me and my family. I am less judgemental. I can see now why people would make a choice different to mine and it still be the right choice.
It's fair to say, that having kids has made me softer, and it's made me far more open-minded than before. That's not to say I didn't consider myself open-minded before, but with each child that is born into our family, and with each pregnancy, I gain more and more perspective about children, motherhood and parenting. I understand more about choices that loving mums make that maybe I wouldn't make myself. My way of being a mama isn't going to fit with every other mama's ideas or comfort levels.
The more children I have and the older they get, the less confident I feel about giving advice to new and first time mums who ask. Because being a new mum is such a terrifyingly, amazing time that is so different for everyone that you just have to be prepared to go on the motherhood ride, and do what feels right in your own heart.
As a mother, I have my hairy days. Days when I raise my voice a bit louder than what makes me comfortable, when my children won't listen to me or when I try and bribe them with food (Actually, I do that most days). There are so many times that I second guess myself or doubt my abilities as a mum.
But mostly, I believe that having kids has not only changed me, it's made me.
I'm far from perfect but being a mama has made me feel like a better person. I am the best version of myself now that I am a mum.
Happy Mothers Day all you Kiwi mamas!
X
* A parenting tip I learned yesterday involved green and orange fizzy drink. It's fair to say that I won't be letting Claudia glug two bottles of fizz ever again. Even if it is a birthday party.
** Please don't judge the 'old me'. She has a good heart but was very naive.
